Well hey all for anyone that visits this blog.
i would like to share in as much detail as i can remember about my childhood and how i am today.
Well what can i say it was gonna be a rough ride when i was born anyways because my father was a asshole before i was born to my mother and was still a asshole once i was born.
Now let me explain my great hate for this man so that you dont think im just being a nasty stuck up prick.
My father beat the living hell out of my mother before i was born he did all kinds of sick shit that no women should have to go through he punched , kicked , spat on , shoved the frying pan over her head full of old cooking oil as well as pain cans and eggs when maybe she had done somthing wrong or somthing that made him a little pissed off.
I am told that has actually calmed down once i was born for a few months but that soon changed.
i remember man nights laying in my bed listning to them argue and to hear screams of pain from my mother and nothing but abusive anger from my father towards her over stupid little things.
I found out exactly how sick and wat a coward he was when i was about 4 or 5 years old when he had her by the throat up agaist the kicthen cuboards and wasnt letting go all i remember was her shouting "Please let me go , please , please kev let me go" with tears pooring outta her eyes and there was me crawling on the floor in fear due to seeing such shit.
When he finally chucked her to the ground shouting i never touched you all i remember is her grabbing me and struggling to get outta the house he was still mad and was trying to catch her ( i thank god he didnt because i honestly think he would have gone to far.
We went to our next door neighbours house and they called the police to come round and remove him from the house , by this time i was being sick all over the place because of the fear i can admit at the age of 4-5 you normally feel safe with your mother / Father but the only person i ever felt safe with was my mother because my father was such a coward and was never wat a father should be.
Anyways that same night the police did come round rgather fast (Belive it or not) and they went round and asked him what he was playing at and he sat and argued with the police saying "I didnt touch her" haha that was the funny part when i think about it now because the finger prints on her neck told the whole thruth dark blue bruised neck the copper said "How did she get those finger prints on her neck & the bruised neck " he soon shut up then.
He was forced to get out of the house within the next 42 hours or he would be removed by the police the hard way.
He moved out taking everything but the kitchen sink he took everything .. TV , VCR Player , Knives & Forks , Cups , The Garden Shed (LoL) and left the house in a complete mess to be honest from there i should have known he would never be a good father role model because what kind of father would leave the house like that when he knew he had a son that had to go back.
Then i didnt hear from him for a couple of month's then he showed up demanding that he wanted to see me so my mother had to agree because he still had the right to see his son but wasnt to come inside the house as he had a restraining order agaist him to stay away.
Then when we thought things couldnt get any worse they did we were getting bills 1 arfter another through the door.
The Rent , Electric , Gas , Water all bills that he was suppose to be sorting out as he was the only one that was working alot of the time but it got found out that he hadnt been paying hardly any of them and there were bills left that were in the £1000's and there wasnt anyway my mother who was now a single mother could pay off these sort of bills with child support that was somthing like £15.00 a month if i remember correctly as my father didnt pay any Child Support and he never did pay any of it.
Many days we spent hiding from debt collectors and other fookers that wouls come to the door wanting money i mean that cunts knew we didnt have the money to give i mean how stupid can they be! argh sorry it annoys me now because i use to have to sit with my mother when she sat and cried because she couldnt give me the stuff she wanted only to just recently has she finished paying those bills off!.
When i was younger i guess you could say i was the kinda person that simply didnt give a f**k about anything or anyone by the age of 8 i had a crim record for almost burning down a whole corn famr thing (Arsonist & Criminal Damage , And Abusive Behaviour) smashing windows , Car Windows , Destroying Private Walls , Wrecking old homes.
There was a group of us that use to hang out together i remember it so clearly and i must say they were by far some of the best times of my life i can remember you guys know who u were .. Brett ,Chris , Charlie , Lee , Zoe , Mitchel , Gavin , Terry , Wayne , Howard ,Lewis , Amy , Kelly , Cheryl And Others we got upto some crazy shit.
I think between us all we managed to piss of the entire Street and half of the estate and if we was all still around hanging out i think it would be great and bad at the same time simply because of the stuff we done.
I will always remember Brett and for those of you know why then you wil l understand he was like my brother was never hardly apart and it was just a shame that we had to dispand as a group the way we did , same as Charlie we was always together my Big Sis :).
There have been many great Memories and also been some bad ones i just wish things could have been alot different.
I hope that all of you are doing well dunno if alot of you will see it but i honestly hope your all doing good and brett if you ever did see this i hope you are keeping your head outta trouble mate :) same with you all i wish you all the best.
This is where my life became lower then i thought it would ever be again since i had such a brininging up with not father as such and i lost alot of my friends hat i had been hanging about with for the past 5 - 6 Years mostly all the time and i had to go to a new school and start a fresh and nwo thats ver hard when everything / everyone you knew had gone! i found it hard i will not kid any of you i maybe could have done much better with getting along with people but i didnt i tried to avoid getting along with people the best i could apart from a few selected people that were still around Charlie was only in for another 2 Years and she was one of the main people that really got me back on track and i thank her greatly for that i yes i had a really big crush on her i will admit it :) i had known her for a long time and she was always so loving and i could talk to her about anything but we were just really good mates like bother and sister nothing more.
I also stuck around with my Girl that i had also known for 2-3 Years Cheryl and she was like a rock also but she had alot of her own mates that had come the whole way with her and thats a great thing to have in my opoion and makes it easyier.
Anyways in the end i got in with a group of lads again and i felt great again because i was playing football all the time by this point at lunch and such and i played so much that i got on the Football team without going to any practise lessons hehe the coach see me play in defence during one lunch time and i was aware of him watching me one lunchtime and arfter that a few mins into our next lesson we had he came and give me my shirt and that had to be one of the first times i felt like i was apart of somthing and had never been more happier but i got to play like 6-7 games because of my bad knee arfter some fooker slid into me during practise and smacked my knee so bad it use to hurt so much arfter like 5 - 10 mins running.
So that kinda spoilt my chanced getting into the Football team in high School and now that i think to myself i prob wouldnt stand a chance anyways because i watched a few games and the team they had at Sprowston High was solid.
Anways i got through middle school alright i had made alot of new mates and then it came time to split yet again and by this time i had already had enough of so many things related to my father again he has been a asshole again over him seeing me and his new woman he had so that didnt help.
I went to high school with a really good mates that i made in middle called James Norman haha yeah alot of people took the piss outta him including myself but on kiddingly and he knew it but others was damm right nasty to him and for those of you that were then you can Fuck Yourself because he was a damm loyal friend and they are hard to find in this world and im so greatful because he was always so cool with me and i was the same back so he had a bit of a eating problem haha so wat :P nobody is perfect!.
Anyways there was a whole thing where you was chose what group u was in for those of you who went to sprowston high you will knwo what i mean there was forms that you was sent to and you was in the sports hall (Well we was) and the read off all these names and sent you on your way. Well me and James was sent to the same form i never felt so much relief when i herd his name read out and was to be going to the same form as me because there were a few people from the other schools where there was 4+ more of there going to the same formed so that sucked for me and James as we were the only 2 but when we got to our form is was pretty cool from what i can remember because we met 2 class guys right away called ollie and i cant remember other ha! damm my memory sucks and things that happend not that long ago gotta stop drinking ha!
Anyway they were great guys and we also new Ian & Jordan and a few others that came to same place also that we spent time with here and there but it was never the same there were so many assholes that i simply couldnt count.
I knew that if i was to get mixed up with the wrong people i would end up doing stupid shit and putting my mother through stuff she didnt need anymore of as she delt with so much over the 14 years of my life.
Anyways i kept my head low here i wasnt very hmm how can i put it .. i didnt feel right here somthing was missing no metter how much i tried i simply couldnt fitt in for 2 years i just stuck my head down and kept it down and tried to avoid conflict with anyone there were only a few times i got caught up and that was helping my cousin once and then i had to have a punching brawl with his best mate simply because he disrespected my mother but then again who wouldnt stick up for there family ?.
I then began to fall greatly in the next 2 years and these i knew were the most important years left that i had to do but i then felt the feeling again that i simpl didnt care anymore there was nothing i wanted to do there was nobody i could really talk to that could hear half of this what i had just typed that could take it seriously and that was alot of my problem i couldnt find anyone that could listen to what i had to say.
I was letting myself slip i was being asked for my lunch and my money by some little 2ft dickhead that wasnt nothing to be worried of but i dunno why still till this day why i gave it to him and honestly have no idea but all i wanted to do was get therough without fighting with anyone.
Then i think it was half way through Yr 11 when i snapped i buolt up so much anger that i had been feeling from middle school and from past childhood and i just went a tiny bit crazy i never went to school i used mother Credit Cards to order stuff , i went to destory things again that right away caught the attention of the police that had no problems telling me what was on my record already.
I also got brought back to school a few times by the polce for bunking of and hanging with a few of the stoners.
I got nicked for spending half a hour shouting at a officer over a chip pack that i put into the bin that fell out because the bin was overflowing near Sprowston High and got a nice £50 fine letter in the door.
I almost destroyed half the computer main frame with a virus i had on floppy and wrecked alot of peoples A Level work (Im So sorry for anyones work i did destroy i do regret it now im so sorry.).
I was on special attendance report when i had to see Mr Best / Mr Cator everyday if i wasnt there i would get a phone call at home or my mother would get one at her work place.
The Verbal abuse got worse towards teachers , my mother , neighbours , Friends.
Then to top it all of alot of my friends turned there back on me i saw my girl getting off with another dude and i had to find out having it rubbed in my face by the dude that did it.
The fooker wouldnt of had the balls if he wasnt in the stoners group because i would have lost my temper with him so badly instead she paid for it.
My other mates were doing there own things and didnt wanna know me i tried to talk with them but they were too busy with other people now as i was too tied up messing about.
The final straw was the dude asking for my money and that he had not been asking for a few months i dunno why i guessed he saw how i was and then i seemed to stop and just relax and go back to my caring self again but this one lesson he was getting very annoying there is nothing worse then som1 coming past you every few mins spacking you round the head with a meter stick saying "I want your Money" or "Common Aaron Gimme your Lunch" or going through my bag that got me into shit as at the time i had just got back from Cyprus and i said to a few of the smokers i would get them some cheap fags if they wanted so they were in my bag and he went in there and pulled them out waving them in the air shouting about them.... this got the attention of the teacher and also got me almost suspended for selling fags so they got taken away from me.
I then just got on with the lesson and then i got up to ask to the tutor somthing and outta nowhere he kicked a stool out from under the table that smacked into my bad knee that i had sufferd so much paid from over the years and i will admit that brough a tear to my eye because i hadnt done anything wrong and i was trying so hard to complete the rest of the term i had left.
But this was to be the final time i would be coming into another lesson at Sprowston because i waited for that bell to ring so i could get him and boy did i get him ha ! he wouldnt come out to begin with and we were in the science block in the main building and in mr Evans Classroom i think it was there are 2 doors to exit it 1 leads into a small closet and then into another classroom.
Well he waited in the Classroom we were in and Mr Evans Walked into the Supply Cuboard and i waited in the classroom nextdoor for him as that was the only way he could home it was a longish wait but in the end he came out looking around.
He didnt see me to start with but then he went to go out the large doors if any of you know where i mean anyways i quickly ran outta this scince room i was in dropped everything i had and that was my journal i beleive and i just grabbed him and pulled him into this scince room there was nobody that could see us it was great.
Well by this tim i was extremely pissed because i had to wait sooo damm long in the room and i just got him by the neck and lifted him up agaist this bookcase thing that was full of skulls and crap.
I help for a few mins and he just started to cry on me i instantly dropped him because he seemed as tho he was having problems catching his breath.
I stormed out shaking i had never been so angry with someone if i would of kept on holding him like i was then i dread to think wat would of happend i felt really ill and upset with myself as i promised i would never get that way i have only got really bad and that was once in middle school with brett.
I thought maybe it was all okay arfter lunch i went to my next lesson all fine i felt so much more better now that i got all this anger of my chest and then i got Mr Cator and Mr Best come and grab me and took me down to his office and in the sick little bit near reception the JD was sitting with his mother and father and i got such a warm welcome from them :>. not!.
Anyways i got spoken too like i was a fucking idiot telling me how dangerous that was i was like really you dont say i was meant to hurt him not touch him up.
I explained my side of ths story but they didnt want to hear it and i didnt get suspended from school i got kicked out ha! some funny stuff because they said i was a liability to others.
I was allowed back once to take my G.C.S.E exams and that was it i didnt get to go to prom as i wanted allowed to come as he was set to be there.
Well i did pretty bad on my exams i dont mind saying i have never had any faith in myself and still dont if im honest.
Today well what can i say there is so much i wish i could go back and do and spend more time with people like my old Girl Cheryl because if im 100% honest with myself it was prob all my fault she went with someone else because i just didnt care about anyone at the time other then myself and my family as i always have.
No i have myself a Job and im about to learn to drive :) would have been sooner but i spent alot of money on other things and i thought to myselg the insurance was gonna be a bit of a bitch because it would of been near enough £1000 to insure it :o.
Bu since i turned 18 i got myself a nice pay rise ... well not really workin for the company i work for anyways hehe.
I aint seen my father now getting on a year we were ok for a little while but now im just pretending he doesnt exisit because he will never be the father i wanted and never will he is just too late now just wanna let him he has failed if he ever see's this ! and to remember i gave you soo many chances to swallow your pride and come see me but you avoided it all the time so dont bother again just stick with your new family and company i got myself a better life now and i dont need you to be a part of it.
Anyways thats all from me im glad i got this off my chest because i have wanted to write somthing like this for such a long time now but never found the time or place to do it :).
There is alot more i could write but hey i dont got all night :).

GreetZ

Aaron

Ps . Excuse any Spelling Mistakes in all of this but it's pretty late and i can hardly keep my eyes open as it is :).